See it through their eyes
In poker as in life, it's very important to be able to see things through another person's eyes. Dissecting how they think, what their motivations are, and what makes them tick - no matter how right or wrong they are, what's important is being able to figure people out so that you can anticipate how they will react, and therefore you can be one step ahead.You always hear the whole "looking into your soul" thing regarding poker, and something I've been reminded about lately is how important that can be in the real world. There are so many parallels that can be drawn between poker and life, and the one subject I'm writing about today isn't that new or earth shattering...but I think it's an important reminder.
So often conflicts arise and resolving these conflicts between people is often hard because emotional investments. Part of effectively handling disputs is using your poker skills to see the situation from the other side, similar to how chess students turn the board 180 degrees to see what their opponent sees, when analyzing a series of moves. Everyone knows it helps to see things from the other point of view, but the tough part is actually processing what you see and acting appropriately on it.
A great example of this is an interview of Barry Greenstein. He "gets it" and of course it's not too surprising he does. This interview is his take on the unlawful internet gambling and enforcement act:
If you can't see the embedded youtube vide, click here
Barry's assessment of the situation is excellent and spot on...and it shows what I'm talking about regarding seeing the situation through the other people's eyes.
So what's my point in posting all this stuff? Well basically what it all boils down to is that I've had some occurances in my life lately that have reminded me how important it is to think about other people. Many of us play poker very seriously, which involves a lot of introspection, self criticism, and self reflection. When you combine those qualities with the materialistic nature of poker, it's easy to lose sight of the important things in life.
Certainly I don't mean to pick on anyone in particular, but if you look at all the "balla" talk and "pwn"ing and "stupid donks" (I'm as guilty as anyone in using these terms), it can be hard to remember that there's nothing wrong with people playing poker to gamble, and the donks are people too and deserve respect. Again I'm being hypocritical because I'll be the first to complain, "that stupid fucking donkey just sucked out again", but I really think getting away from this attitude would be much more healthy.
Even away from poker though, it's important to keep things in perspective. Many of us often have thousands, or tens of thousands of dollars in play at any given time yet somehow have to balance that by keeping a real world view of what that money is worth. It's a balancing act and a mind game you have to play with yourself. Being willing to shove $1000 stack in the middle when you have a 51% edge, knowing that 49% of the time you're going to lose, yet simultaneously "keeping it real" when you're out shopping for a major purchase. Those on the fringe of the online poker world, who can see it both ways, are really in a funny spot. Take my fiancee for example, she watches me play 8 tables with a grand+ on each, hearing about -15k downswings and +40k months, yet in the next breath she listens to me complain about how outrageous it is to spend $2.99 for a gallon of milk. It seems so backwards, but at the same time it makes perfect sense. It's all about smart money management.
Some people though, both in and out of the poker world, are so wrapped up in the materialistic and self fulfilling aspects of life that they lose sight of the truly important things. I'm reminded of the saying "the best things in life are free" and it's really true... albeit, it's often much harder to realize this when you're just scraping by to make rent each month. But the point still remains, don't fall into the materialistic, self indulgent trap. Have respect for the people around you, whether or not they're 5 ptbb/100 winners or they're just another donkey lining your pockets. Have respect for the people who have raised you and the people that love you. They're the ones who were there in the beginning and will be there in the end. Don't be so quick to dismiss someone's opinion just because you have disagreed with them in the past. They might see things in a different light. And again, as mentioned earlier, try to play the other person's hand through their eyes. You might learn something about them, or you might learn something about yourself.
Aaron
posted by WiltOnTilt at 1:26 PM
3 Comments:
Your parents did a fantastic job.
LP
Thanks Lou, I'll pass that along ;-)
Funny how everytime I talk to them on the phone they ask "So when are you going back to a real job?". I have to remind them often that they didn't raise a fool, haha
Aaron
good post - going to give it a shout out on 3-bet... love the barry greenstein interview, hadn't seen it before
-J
Post a Comment